As I’ve written before, I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. Studies have shown that people who make resolutions are much more successful than people who don’t.

But goals like this aren’t one-offs; it’s not about getting it right the first time and never thinking about it again. How you readjust and get back on track is the most important part. It’s more of a dance than just being perfect and getting it right the first time. Mastering the art of goals requires you to recalibrate when you get off track.

So with that in mind, how are you doing with your New Year’s Resolutions? If you haven’t kept your resolutions, whatever they were, try to just take a neutral look at it. As in, I kept my goal of going to the gym 4 times per week every week in January until the 28th, and then didn’t go again. So current reality is that I worked out a lot in January, but none in February.

Studies have shown that people who indulge in negative self-talk are less successful at achieving their goals. So don’t be hard on yourself.

Two things will help with this: curiosity and altitude.

Altitude means looking at it from a higher point of view; it’s the opposite of getting bogged down in the emotions of it all. Imagine you’re evaluating someone else if that helps. Or remind yourself that in the grand scheme of things, these goals aren’t as important as family and friends. Whom you will presumably still have even if you don’t achieve your fitness or financial goals.

Curiosity means adopting a questioning posture about your resolutions. If you’ve kept your resolutions, just ask yourself why that was. Was this a goal you had tried to achieve before, and failed? If so, what was different this time? What is working better than the previous attempts?

If you haven’t kept your resolutions, ask yourself what got in the way, keeping a keen eye on your own behavior and not circumstances or other people’s actions. Why have you stopped going to the gym? And the most important question: what is needed for you to get back on track?

It might be something like finding a group class that keeps you motivated instead of working out on my own. Or finding a gym on your way to work so you spend less time in the car. Or inventing a new way for you to exercise: P90X, CrossFit, martial arts, dance, or whatever. Or maybe you just need to start going again and recommit to go 4 times each week.

If you’ve broken your New Year’s Resolution, it’s not the end of the world. But don’t wait until next year to try again. And don’t abandon the whole thing just because you stumbled. It’s only February–imagine how different your life/health/finances would be a year from now if you kept your resolutions from here on out! Giving up means breaking a commitment to yourself, which makes you less confident and effective as a person in the long run.

But extending yourself some grace and getting back on track will not only help you achieve what’s important to you this year, but make you a more effective goal setter.

So figure out what’s needed, and go again.